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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24454048">I feel ugly, but I know I still turn you on</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/politeia/pseuds/politeia'>politeia</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sasusaku Alter-Reality [2012-2015] [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Death, F/M, Fallen Angels, Faustian Themes, Sacrifices, alternative universe, soul exchange</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 11:00:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,564</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24454048</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/politeia/pseuds/politeia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>She calls his name - someone she called many times in her waking dreams &amp; fitful sleep - in a strangled, desperate cry.</p><p>And to her surprise, it is enough to make him pause in his act to look at her. </p><p>Their eyes meet.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sasusaku Alter-Reality [2012-2015] [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1766242</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I feel ugly, but I know I still turn you on</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She finds him at a broken bridge, siphoning the soul out of a young redhead’s body. She calls his name - someone she called many times in her waking dreams &amp; fitful sleep - in a strangled, desperate cry.</p><p>And to her surprise, it is enough to make him pause in his act to look at her. </p><p>Their eyes meet.</p><p>And all at once, at that moment, she feels two things: Dread and Elation.</p><p>Dread, for having found him so different, so <em>changed. </em>His wings - once so beautiful, so proud, so <em>immaculate</em> - are now in tatters. There’s a hint of decay in them, a rot that seems to be eating him from the outside in. Moreover, there’s a mass of black smoke swirling around him; its movements so precise that it kills any doubt in her that this entity is sentient. But the most marked change in him is in his eyes. They had been dark eyes, determined, but with a clear light shining through them. But now, they were muddled, unfocused - <em>insane</em>.</p><p>And Elation, elation for simply having found him. No matter what he has become, this is still her Sasuke-kun that she is seeing. And oh how she has missed him so.</p><p>“Sasuke-kun.”</p><p>“What are you doing here, Sakura?”</p><p>For a moment, she’s struck dumb at the sound of his voice calling out her name. It’s been so long since they last saw each other, since they last talked, but his voice is still the same, still that deep baritone that she has learned to love so much. It still sends a thrill of electricity through her, almost consuming her. It takes all her willpower to stop from running towards him, abandoning herself in him, forsaking heaven and hell just to be with him–</p><p>But no, <em>no</em>, she has a purpose. <em>She has a purpose.</em></p><p>So she goes to him - not as the love-sick girl that she is, but as a woman with a mission.  Her wings flutter, allowing her to traverse the broken bridge and land beside him with the faintest, most graceful movements.</p><p>“I can’t let you do this, Sasuke-kun.”</p><p>“Did they send you to kill me, Sakura?”</p><p>“I was sent to stop you.”</p><p>If he is threatened by her presence, then he does not show it. He doesn’t even grace her with an answer, he simply finishes what he was doing, leaving his unfortunate victim in a broken heap on the ground once he’s done siphoning out the most vital part of her. Sakura does not try to stop him. Her heart cries out for the girl, but it is too late for her to try and save her, not when half her soul had already been consumed. There is no mercy in allowing a soul to be fractured.</p><p>Powerless, she merely watches in mute horror as the wisp of white smoke turns black and melds with the others.</p><p>
  <em>Souls. Those are all souls. His victims. The Angel of Death reaped,</em>
  <em> but did not deliver. A renegade angel abusing his powers. He’s reaping even those whose time has not come.</em>
</p><p>“Go away Sakura, before you force my hand”, he tells her, his voice soft, almost pleading.</p><p>There’s a softness in his eyes that she can recognize - it was a look reserved for her, only for her. They had loved each other. She still loves him. And maybe he still loves her. <em>Maybe</em>. Somehow, she really wants it to be so. Even if it makes everything infinitely harder.</p><p>“So, it’s true - what they say; You’re collecting a hundred thousand souls to trade with Itachi.”</p><p>“Itachi is in Hell because <em>I </em>put him there.”</p><p>There’s a tortured quality to his voice, a deep-seated sorrow - and Sakura can’t help but go closer to him, to reach out and touch his face. His eyes close, and he leans into her touch, seeking her warmth. He’s cold, he’s <em>lonely, </em>she <em>knows,</em> she knows like she has always known<em> - </em>and she can’t help but feel a pang of regret at what she’ll ultimately have to do.</p><p>Still, she won’t push through with what Heaven wants - not yet. The least she can do, for Sasuke, for the love they used to share, is to at least try to understand what happened, to know the reason for his defection. For as long as she has known him, Sasuke has wanted to kill Itachi - Heaven was all too willing to help him. So why has he sided with Hell now? What changed? What happened? <em>Why? </em></p><p>“So why are you trying to reverse what you did?”</p><p>“Because I know the <em>truth</em> now, Sakura. He was Heaven’s <em>Sacrifice</em>.”</p><p>“That can’t be. Heaven is-”</p><p>His eyes snap open then, and all the gentleness in them gone, replaced by a burning anger, <em>hatred</em> even. Sakura recoils, withdraws her hand and steps back. Too late - the wisp of black smoke, once calmly swirling around Sasuke, pooling at his feet, suddenly comes to life; and putrid, slimy tendrils wrap around her, rendering her immobile. She can smell the corruption in them, disgusting, unbearable. Moreover, she can hear their voices, a cacophony of agony, demanding justice, pleading for mercy, begging for salvation.</p><p>It is more than she can take - and she knows at that point that her mission will fail. She has no chance of overpowering him. Not like this.</p><p>“Right? <em>Good?</em> Don’t be a <em>fool</em>. Heaven is a den of hypocrites, Sakura. Angels and Devils are merely two sides of the same coin.”</p><p>She trembles. He speaks of the worst kind of blasphemy. If Heaven is watching, there will certainly be no forgiveness.</p><p>“That’s not true- The Maker-”</p><p>He moves towards her then, his hand finding its way around her throat. His grip is strong, enough to hurt, but not to kill.</p><p>“<em>The Maker</em>”, he spits out, venom lacing his every word, “has not made contact with either side, <em>not once</em>.  Heaven’s claims of being privy to the Maker’s thoughts are all fabrications. If you stop being blind for a moment and open your eyes, you’ll see the truth.”</p><p>But she can’t. She can’t open her eyes. She’s afraid of him.</p><p>For the first time in her life, she’s afraid of him.</p><p>“Heaven is just as corrupt as Hell - the only difference is that Hell does not hide its corruption behind a mantle of righteousness.”</p><p><em>No</em>, she wants to say, but she can’t. She can barely breathe as it is.</p><p>“You want proof? <em>The Great Flood</em>, <em>Sodom</em> and <em>Gomorrah</em> - Heaven is not beyond purging Terra when it suits them. When they see the balance of power shifting, they resort to such extremist means to regain their hold on humans. They’re better at wielding Fear as a weapon than Hell ever was.”</p><p>She shakes her head, denying the sacrilege.</p><p>“Souls that go to Heaven are just as trapped as the souls in Hell. They are slaves; forced into an eternity of sublimating the High Council, damned into an eternity of self-loathing and self-deprivation. In Hell, there’s an eternal bloodbath, but at least you’ll have the chance to rise up in the ranks if you’re strong.”</p><p>He moves even closer to her, so close that she can feel his warm breath on her ear, her neck.</p><p>“That is why the Uchiha wanted to rebel, to stage a coup d'état that would allow them to break the barrier between the two worlds and move to a place more suited for their Greatness.”</p><p>The hand in her throat tightens, and for a moment, she is unable to breathe. The voices of the souls are stronger now, louder, pounding on her ears until she can barely stand it. The smoke is everywhere - touching her, consuming her.</p><p>
  <em>I’m going to die.</em>
</p><p>“That is why Itachi killed them. To preserve Heaven’s <em>peace</em>.”</p><p>His grip goes slack.</p><p>Sakura’s throat burns as she gulps in air, life returning to her deprived lungs.</p><p>“Itachi was a sacrifice… just like<em> you.</em>”</p><p>It takes a moment for his words to sink in. But when they do, it’s like a stone dropped into the pit of her stomach.</p><p>“Wh-what do you mean?”</p><p>“Why do you think they sent the Angel of <em>Mercy</em> to kill me? You know you have no chance. Your very nature goes against the idea of murder.”</p><p>She looks at him with wide imploring eyes. His head is tilted to the side, and there’s pity in his gaze.</p><p>“You couldn’t have killed me, Sakura.”</p><p>The truth behind his words renders her mute, as her mind slowly puts the pieces of the puzzle together.</p><p>“Can’t you see the signs? The Seals have been broken. The Apocalypse is starting. Terra is on the brink of another Purge. The biggest one yet.”</p><p>She wants to tell him to stop. But she already knows what he’s going to say next, she knows it with utter certainty.</p><p>The blinders have come off.</p><p>“The Apocalypse has no place for the Angel of Mercy. They could subdue your voice when the time comes - sure. But how would that look for them, when they keep claiming that mercy is at the heart of all their actions? And what better way to justify their War against Hell than to have me - a corrupted angel - kill the embodiment of mercy? Don’t you <em>see</em>?”</p><p>She sees, she <em>sees.</em> But it hurts. <em>It hurts.</em></p><p>Then, suddenly, the shackles open, and the words are torn from her throat–</p><p>
  <em>“Save me.”</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>posted at <b>sasusaku alter-reality</b> last September 02, 2012 [<a href="https://sasusakualter-reality.tumblr.com/post/30724340897/01-i-feel-ugly-but-i-know-i-still-turn-you-on">link</a>]</p></blockquote></div></div>
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